You’ve worked hard to get sober. You have made massive sacrifices and lifestyle changes to get this far, including finding ways to manage day-to-day stress. The holidays can be even more challenging for people who are new to recovery, but planning ahead can make it easier to get through. At The Pavilion, in Williamsburg, Virginia, we help people who have struggled with mental illness and addiction create plans for long-term recovery.
Brace for Impact
Even if you agree that the winter holidays are “the most wonderful time of the year,” you have probably had plenty of experience with the difficulties that can also be part of the season (as summed up in the silly Christmas song), such as:
- Feeling pressured to overspend on gifts, decorations, and special events
- Receiving invitations to events where you are likely to encounter toxic people
- Unrealistic expectations to make the holidays “magical”
- Temptation to indulge in alcohol or other substances either because everyone else is or because the events themselves are a lot to handle
- Overstimulation from noise and commotion outside of what you are used to
- Difficulty maintaining self-care routine in the midst of a busier than usual schedule
- Feelings of loneliness and isolation, caused by family and friends being far away, unhealthy to interact with, or having passed on
Whatever it is about the holidays that causes you stress, identifying it early can help you to formulate an effective plan to navigate through the season.
Taking Action
Once you know what it is about the holidays that is likely to cause you difficulties, consider what might make it easier for you to get through this time, such as:
- Managing expectations – Things are going to go wrong, your budget is probably not going to stretch as far as you would like, and there are only so many days in the month of December, each with only 24 hours. Instead of trying to force a miracle, acknowledge the reality of the situation and ensure you aren’t placing too many demands on yourself or allowing others to demand more of you than you can realistically offer.
- Focusing on what is important – Given the resources that are available to you, make a plan that allows you to make the most of your time and effort. What do you most need to happen during this holiday season? Is it sharing memories? Do you need to rest? Is it important to make a plan for 2025? Is the comfort and joy of celebrating your family traditions what you need? The only wrong answer is pushing too hard on things that won’t matter in six months.
- Prioritizing self-care – What has allowed you to get this far in your recovery journey? How have you maintained your sobriety for this long? Chances are, it’s a custom formula that includes practices to nurture your mind, body, and spirit. While it might be tempting to cast aside these habits in the hustle and bustle of December, now is not the time to skimp on sleep, recovery meetings, therapy, healthy eating, or whatever else you’re doing to take care of yourself.
- Being kind – It’s not just important to be nice to the servers and cashiers you encounter or your family, friends, and colleagues, but you also owe yourself compassion and grace. This can look different for different people, but could include things like:
- Scheduling quiet time between busy events
- Having an escape plan for activities that become overwhelming
- Declining invitations that will cause you to be spread too thin
- Refusing to attend events where you are likely to become triggered
- Adhering to your budget so you don’t experience financial stress in January and February
- Giving yourself the chance to grieve – The holiday season can be one of the hardest times to navigate when you are estranged from someone you love, there has been a death in your life, or you just cannot see someone because of geographic distance. There is nothing wrong with doing something to acknowledge the pain you feel, such as:
- Visiting the cemetery where your loved one is buried
- Making a donation in their honor
- Attending a Blue Christmas service
- Hanging an ornament on the tree in their honor
- Otherwise celebrating someone who is in your heart but not physically present
- Setting boundaries – Sometimes togetherness with family and friends puts you in proximity to toxic people or pressure to do things that aren’t good for you. There may be people who will try to convince you to have a drink, who will try to shame you for things that happened in the past, or whose presence creates distress for you because of trauma they have inflicted upon you previously. Whatever the situation may be, your top priority is your recovery and your well-being. You are allowed to set rules for what behavior you will tolerate and what you will do if you are not shown the respect you deserve.
At The Pavilion, we encourage our patients to plan ahead and talk to the people in their lives who advocate for them best to ensure that they know what to expect and how they will react if things don’t go according to plan. Our team provides trauma-informed, evidence-based care that includes working with families to ensure that they have the best possible information to support their loved ones with mental health and substance use disorders, not only during the holidays, but also throughout the year.
